Making life simple….
All my life I have worked hard. I think hard work is a terrific thing.
Challenges are fantastic. I love finding ways to make the difficult reality.
My strange love of things that others find intimidating and daunting, my willingness to dive in and find a way, and my apparent blissful ignorance of the difficulties involved tends to make me a bit of an ‘odd duck’. As one friend puts it. Others seem to be intimidated or think I am just plain hard headed, by my insistence that nothing is impossible, and my ‘we can FIND a way’.
For me it really is simple, pursing what I desire has given me tremendous freedom. In that freedom I can happily jump into a daunting situation without a lot study or fear. That freedom comes from two places and a gray space; the first knowing my where my yes line is, the second is knowing where my no line is, and last is accepting there is a space between the yes and the no.
First, the yes line. When situations land beyond this line I may be found giggling with glee as jump on a plane bound for … meh who cares! This is gonna be fun!
Decide to take the entire interior of the RV, redesign the floorplan, and do the build out? Sure why not! I can learn how to build cabinets and plumbing!
The company needs to find a new e-commerce solution? Neat! Let’s see what can be done here.
If it lands in yes land it is exciting, challenging, and fantastic!
The no line. When things land in this territory, I simply decline to participate. I don’t justify or excuse it is just no. For a long while I would compromise this line for my employers. I was afraid to hold that line for fear that I would lose my job or whatever. Every time I did, I was bitter about a task, the person who asked me, and the organization. As I have changed and settled into me, that changed.
The first time I did it at work it happened to be in front of some peers and my supervisor asked me to do something that was clearly a no for me. And I simply said no. Both individuals looked fairly shocked at my response and seemed to expect some explanation, but I just looked at them silently. After a few moments my supervisor changed the subject and we moved on.
In that moment freedom revealed itself to me.
In that moment something important became clear
I was completely comfortable walking away from a job that I thought I “needed” rather than compromise my boundary.
Finally, the gray area. Coming to understand that not everything fit in my YES or no places was the final piece of making life simple for me. I no longer had to struggle with decisions and choices and agonize with should I or shouldn’t I. I was able to let yes be a yes, no be a no, and put the grays to the side until I wanted to deal with them.
Some grays have become yes … others no. Some grays are still grays so they just sit there.
How has this made life simple? Well I try to only give energy, be that mental, physical, or emotional to YES!
Ohhh that’s a no? It doesn’t even get considered. Gray? They land in purgatory.
But what if a friend or significant other pushes for a no? So what, they want it to be a yes for their reasons. Those reasons have nothing to do with me. So my no is still no.
Having that part of things made simple … allows me to put my energy and focus on pursuing things I truly desire.