Having connections to people is vital to my mental and emotional well-being. Well connecting to the right people is anyway.
Probably the most impactful and important reasons to pursue my true desires, is what it did to my social life. Pursing my desires changed my social activities, my social circle, and how easy or difficult it is for me to let go or move on when the relationship isn’t best for me.
When I started pursuing my desires it was strange for me. My ‘friends’ weren’t really interested, so I didn’t do whatever it was. I ended up doing things that were gray for me, so I just was going through the motions of a given activity. I remember the first time I REALLY stepped out and did something I really wanted to do even though I did it alone.
I missed camping, sleeping in a tent or under the stars, cooking over a fire, and exploring new places. So one April I packed up and went camping. I camped in Southern Oregon, I camped in the Bay Area, and I camped in Mt. Shasta area. I travelled by myself, but I wasn’t alone. I met some very cool people who had some similar perspectives on adventure and exploring as I do. We shared some meals together, exchanged contact information, and I have even kept in touch with a few. Since that trip my truck has camping gear loaded for at least eight months a year. I have taken many impromptu trips, explored many new places, and met tremendous people. This has grown to vacationing in foreign countries alone at times.
My social circle reflects more of who I am. Since I started pursuing the things I desire, I find a lot more poets, artists, surfers, and various other people who don’t live in the social ‘norms’ are now part of who I enjoy spending time with. Diverse in background, politics, religion, and perspective is the best way to describe it. I love the chef’s, the grandparents, young professionals, blue collar hard working folks, and the dedicated public servants.
There is one thing that is consistent in all of those people. And I believe it is what has drawn me to them. They are authentic. The farmers LOVE farming and growing things, and that is apparent in all they do. The web guys LOVE creating web pages, writing content, and managing that whole thing. I know they do because when they aren’t doing it for money, they are doing it for friends and for themselves. I love that my social circle has changed from people like me, to people who like me; and who I truly like and learn from.
I think the greatest change socially since I have begun pursuing my desires is how I deal with things when they aren’t working. Some friends come or go, some stay for a lifetime. Growing up in the manner that I did, I never really experienced the later much but I know that some people have known friends as far back as they can remember.
As I grew into a young adult, I desperately wanted to stay connected to the same people for a long period time. I continually tried to hold on no matter what, if I was doing damage to someone or I was being damaged. It didn’t matter I had to stay connected. Now I can let people be who they are and go where is best for them. I understand that just as I should pursue what I desire, so should other people. I understand that if that pursuit takes them another direction in life, I wish them well and hope they find what they desire. And I hope that I am able to part ways with enough grace and gentleness that if they find their desires that I might get to hear about it someday.
The who and how I connect has changed, and that makes me smile just a little. I am looking forward to the new and different people I will meet and I cannot wait to experience what the people in my life teach me and experience with me.